Bastard
by Radwimp
Summary: Yullen: When Allen woke up, he was tied to a chair, bitchy, and very, VERY hung over.


(Bastard)

Summary: When Allen woke up, he was tied to a chair, and he was very, very hung-over.

Consider it disclaimed. D:

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When Allen woke up from his potentially alcohol-induced sleep, he was tied to a chair, hung-over and decidedly bitchy.

Now, this is an awkward situation for most, and Allen was one of those people who found it incredibly odd that he was sitting in a chair in an unfamiliar room with gray walls and a low ceiling. There was also a small bed in the corner, with rumpled covers and no pillow.

'_Jesus Christ…_' he thought groggily. '_What the hell happened at that party?_'

He'd known it wouldn't be a good idea to throw a little Valentine's Day party at a Nightclub, of all places. Lavi, however, thought it was a fantastic idea and blackmailed him into coming, along with another one of Lavi's many friends, Kanda Yuu. How he managed to wheedle Kanda into coming: now that, he didn't know. He suspected, however, that it involved many cases of liquor and maybe some threatened rape.

Now, the only thing that lingered in his mind was how he ended up in this chair in the first place.

Lavi had gotten absolutely smashed, that he remembered, and had had to be carried away (possibly home, but he wasn't sure) by his boyfriend and law student, Tyki Mikk. How he hoped to God he wasn't too drunk last night, and that he hadn't accepted the propositioned ménage a trois.

Now Kanda had…

Wait, what the hell had happened to Kanda?

He heard a door open, close (and lock to his massive dismay), and footsteps that echoed across the small room. Heavy, booted footsteps.

'_Shit_.'

Feeling black silk being draped over your eyes, Allen soon discovered, was actually a rather pleasant feeling, at least, compared to the overwhelming panic attack he felt coming on.

He felt more than heard the purr of Kanda's smoky voice in the crook of his neck.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, _Allen_"

Now, Allen didn't usually curse, but right now, his mind made an exception and was swearing frantically. What in the name of God had he done last night?

Kanda chuckled darkly, a throaty, husky sound that was, oddly enough, vaguely familiar.

**_Kanda chuckled against his chest. "Responsive, aren't you, Moyashi?"_**

_'FUCK ME! Where the flying **fuck** did that come from?!'_

Well, at least now he knew what he'd done last night-Kanda. Or maybe it was the other way around, as Kanda really didn't seem like the type to bottom.

'_Shit, shit, shit, I had SEX with KANDA?! I am SO fucked!_'

The situation was so unbelievable, Allen very nearly threw up.

"K-Kanda?"

"Yes?" he growled against his throat, raw and unadulterated.

Allen yelped and sprang to attention as he felt a hot, wet tongue against the hollow of his throat. To his great dismay, something **else** jumped too.

'_Fucking **hormones**_!'

Kanda nibbled on his neck from behind him, dark hair splaying across Allen's bare shoulders, ticking his skin as Kanda chomped down on his ear, resulting in a throaty gasp.

Allen hoped to Christ that things couldn't get any worse, but it appeared that the could when a knock on the door signaled the arrival of-

"He~ey, Yuu-chan, get up! You're **so** late for class right now, the teachers going to be pissed!"

Lavi. Super.

"Be quiet, Moyashi, if you don't wasn't to get caught," he whispered in his ear, smirking evilly.

"Fuck off, Baka Usagi." Kanda said a little more loudly, randomly displaying his skills as a very talented actor, making his voice sound grouchy, tired, and hung-over at the same time. "Or I'll kill you. So help me God, I will kill you if you don't shut up this instant."

Just to add icing to the cake, he tweaked one of Allen's nipples, unable to resist temptation, causing Allen to let out an undignified groan that was slightly muffled by the sharp bite to Allen's lips. He smirked wider.

"Alright, fine." Allen could practically hear the pout in Lavi's voice. "Have you seen the Moyashi-chan? He didn't answer the door at his place, and you were there with him when I, uh, left."

Kanda's smirk grew inhumanely against the shell of Allen's ear, and he moved away to say, "No I haven't. Why the fuck would I?"

"Stingy prick," the muffled reply that Lavi obviously said a little too loudly was not unexpected.

Kanda mock-sighed, "He's probably grouchier and more hung-over than I am. It wouldn't surprise me if he didn't get up to answer the door. Kid sleeps like a fuckin' log when he's hung-over."

"What the hell was he drinking?"

"I'unno, tequila or some shit. It tasted nasty."

Lavi swore, Kanda smirked, and the front door slammed announcing Lavi's departure. He felt Kanda bite down on his collarbone, causing him to moan and shake slightly.

"N-no, mmhn… stop…"

Allen didn't know if Kanda heard him or not, but he certainly hear Kanda move around to the front of him and felt him put one kneed between his open thighs to balance himself. Calloused hands found their way to his own pale ribcage and he arched his back into the touch.

"Stop?" Kanda leered against his cheek, "Why would I stop when you're enjoying yourself?"

Allen's hormones couldn't agree more, but the rational part of his brain (which was slowly slipping away with every flick of Kanda's thumbs against his over-sensitive nipples) was screaming in panic. He was barely eighteen and Kanda was already twenty-one! For God's sakes, this was insane!

And then those hands found their way to the hem of Allen's pants, and Kanda was kissing him fiercely. His brain simply shut down.

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"Kanda, you asshole," Allen mumbled under his breath when the two of them met up a few days later. "I couldn't walk for **days**. Next time, be a little gentler, will you?"

Said asshole simply smirked at him. "What, want to go again, Moyashi?"

Allen canned him really hard, and he doubled over in pain, dropping his hot coffee all over himself and letting his soba fall to the ground.

"Bastard," he said, smirking lightly, and walked out of the café.

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(A/N) Don't hate me for taking so long! D:


End file.
